Your Net Worth is Not Your Self-Worth: Rewriting Your Money Story

We’ve all heard the convenient answers
over a soda in the backyard.

"I’m just doing this to provide for my family." "I want to make sure my kids have it better than I did."

They sound noble. They sound responsible. But as Chris Field, founder of Mercy Project, points out, these are often just "convenient" lies we tell ourselves to justify moving the goalposts. For many leaders, the pursuit of the "next mountaintop" isn't about the family at all—it’s about an unexamined, deeply rooted money story.

The Handcuffs We Build Ourselves

Most of us have a complicated relationship with money that we’ve never actually dealt with. Chris compares it to the way children learn about sex: whispers at the back of the bus from someone who has no idea what they're talking about. We learn about money from bad Instagram reels and the neighbor’s new car.

This creates a "money story" driven by one of two things: what you are running from or what you are running towards.

• Running From: A fear of scarcity, a memory of childhood lack, or the terror of being "ordinary."

• Running Towards: A status that we believe will finally grant us permission to be happy.

The trap, however, is believing that reaching a certain financial status will free you. In reality, we tied the handcuffs ourselves. Untying them doesn't require making more money; it requires dealing with your "crap."

The Worth/Wealth Disconnect

To lead with love, you must untie your personal worth from your bank account balance. Whether your account is at zero or $5 million, you are the same human being when you wake up.

If you have millions but are an awful person no one wants to be around, you’ve failed. If you have nothing but you walk into a room and genuinely want to celebrate the people around you, you are wealthy in the only way that lasts.

Why This Matters for Your Business

When your worth is tied to the spreadsheet, your employees become cogs. They become tools to help you reach a goal that you think will finally make you feel "enough." But when you deal with your money story, you can finally see the human being sitting across from you.

You stop sending a customized onesie to a new parent because you want "more production" out of them. You send it because you are genuinely excited with them. The irony? That sincerity makes them a better, more loyal employee. But the second it becomes a tactic, you've lost the lead.

The Takeaway: Sit in your own "rocking chair moment." Look at your life through the lens of an 80-year-old you. Are you proud of how you loved people, or just the numbers you chased? The cheapest "hard" is the discomfort of introspection. Everything else is just kicking the can down the road.


Keep the Conversation Going

Enjoyed these insights? There's plenty more where that came from. Check out the books and join the movement to bring humanity to the workplace.

• Read the Blueprints: Love as a Business Strategy & Love as a Change Strategy

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